no promise of tomorrow

We always think we'll have tomorrow, and then all of a sudden it doesn't come. I'm still waiting for that returned email, the knitting get-together, and the family session when the leaves change, now that they've adopted their fourth.

It's honestly so hard for me to have perspective on this loss. A grandparent or older uncle - they lived a good life, their kids are grown, they're no longer in pain. But a mother of four young children? No, I can't reconcile that. No consolation in four children, already orphaned in another country, growing up without a mother.

I've looked in the Bible for that verse that will make it all ok - that He will wipe every tear from their eyes, or that whoever believes is Him will not perish but have everlasting life. Not doin' it. ou know the one scripture that stand out - "Jesus wept." (John 11:35). The one man who walked the earth with divine, omniscient perspective still felt loss and sorrow.

My old pastor reminded us that we don't have any promise of a tomorrow. It's still not fair, but it's true. The laundry still has to get folded. My oldest still has to get potty-trained. But am I focusing my energy on leaving a legacy as she did - so many mothers who benefitted for her wisdom and "realness" and her kids who have a completely different life because of her? And can I really afford to put off calling that friend for coffee, telling my husband how much I love him, cuddling with my kids and reading a book, or will this be my last chance?

You'll never be forgotten, Heather.

"Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her...Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lors is to be praised."